Once I completed the profile questionnaires on listening, verbal aggressiveness, and communication anxiety and compared the similarities and differences between how my co-worker evaluated me as a communicator and how I evaluated myself as a communicator, I found the results interesting because there were more differences than similarities.
The one thing that surprised me the most were the results for verbal aggressiveness and communication anxiety because my co-worker rated me as an attacker of others position and as someone that is hurtful and intimidating during interactions. I on the other hand consider myself to be a focused listener and fair with everyone. I am guilty of using a "sand timer" during conversations with staff because I have many tasks and deadlines to meet throughout the week. I am aware that my facial expressions are probably not pleasant, because I have heard from staff and parents alike, "You know what it means when you see that Shelita look". I know that I need to work on myself because when I look over my glasses without no expression on my face, I mean business.
Other insights about communication that I gained this week is in regards to perception and self-esteem. Making perceptions at work while responding to e-mails sometimes gives off negative vibes to others. I have been asked by co-workers from other facilities if I was upset or offended based on my e-mails in the work environment. I will practice thinking before I select "Send" in the future. Personally, perception effects my relationship with my oldest daughter, because I am not fond of her boyfriend based on one conversation I over heard between she and him. I may be wrong about him, he is in college, cares for her, and caters to her, but that one instance made me doubtful. People tell me that the more I resist the closer their relationship will become. I am working on me and at least greeting him indirectly!
I learned that professionally I need to work on not expecting others to respond in the same manner as I do even though we hold the same title. Their self-esteem may not be as high as mine. a mentor of mine stated that, "We are not all built the same", and I interpret this to mean that everyone does not have the same will, drive, passion, or tough skin as the next person no matter what their station in life may be.
In my personal life I encourage self-esteem in my children and my spouse by telling them that I love them, how proud I am of them, and encouraging them when they do not feel as though they have given their best effort at work, school, and friendships. I realize that self-esteem is innate, but I believe that everyone needs a cheerleader in their life to lift them up.
Hello Shelita
ReplyDeleteI agree that everyone needs a cheerleader to lift us up. That is why I also like to encourage my daughter to keep her self-esteem up, not allowing nobody to let her feel that she is not capable of accomplishing her dreams. I believe that we will all succeed depending on the level of self-concept that we have about ourselves. O'Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, and Teven, (2015) stated, “your self-concept powerfully shapes your communication with others” (p.47). Affecting what we think about others and how our perceptions of others will relate to the way we think of ourselves.
Leticia
Reference
O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Shelita,
ReplyDeleteThe self-concept and self-esteem that we all possess truly do impact our outlook on these assessments, don't they! I believe that our levels are very different from how others perceive us, and how we perceive others. Do you ever find that your perception of the ability to communicate with others is very different from how others see you?
Kate
Hello Shelita,
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have a very strong, dominant character; perfect for business and leadership. However, maybe some of your employees find you a little bit intimidating. I do, however, think that you are aware of your own behaviors, verbal and non verbal gestures. You stated, " I realize that self-esteem is innate, but I believe that everyone needs a cheerleader in their life to lift them up." Do you think you are lacking this "cheer-leading" type of mentality? In many ways, I perceive myself to be an uplifting, cheer leading leader, but I must honestly say, that this type of behavior should also be balanced with some level of dominating personality. It is difficult to have that balance, but I do think it is reachable.
-Best regards,
Paula Mercado